If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
