Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
