In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
