I'm so fucking centered right now
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
