Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
