so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
