is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
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How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
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She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?