I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...