Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
How external is "for external use only"?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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