im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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