Moan for me like Helen Keller
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
