Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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