Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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