Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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