I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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