Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just found puke in my bra..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
