you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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