it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
