none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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