you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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