Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
