i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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