i permit you to call me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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