is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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