I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize