I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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