it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
