She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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