Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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