Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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