I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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