awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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