I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
