fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Randomize
