hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
