thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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