it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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