ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
