Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
