Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
