He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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