I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
