Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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