the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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