Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
nutella sex= disaster
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
