I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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