Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I want to have your abortion
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
