I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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