i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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