wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This is my gift to your gina
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
