If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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