yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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