i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
