Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
