We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
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There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
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Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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