Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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