:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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