When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
