its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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