We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
