you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
