the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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