eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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