Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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